Eyes

The main question I get about having lived in Dubai is:

“What is it like living in Dubai as a woman?”

When I first arrived in Dubai, I quickly noticed that anytime I walked out, I would get a lot of “eyes”. And I don’t mean it is like someone would just look, hold their glance for a moment, and then look away. No, men would often turn their heads and hold their gaze even as they continued walking away. I remember a time when the whole top half of the guy was out of the car window to look back at me while he was still driving in the opposite direction. This was, quite obviously, extremely uncomfortable. And please know that I always dressed with respect for the culture when walking out.

What I did notice, is that most of these eyes only looked straight into my eyes. It was not often that I felt I was being “scanned” from head to toe, they simply help a strong lock straight into the eyes that often felt like a piercing stare straight into the soul.

I found myself at the Dubai Mall on December 2. At the time, I did not realize that this day was the UAE’s National Day. It was crowded. Very crowded. I was walking around the fountains, viewing the Burj Kalifa. This was just my second time here at the mall viewing the fountains so I did not really understand the situation. Was it always this crowded here at night? Is this fountain show that amazing?

I was trying to head back towards the mall doors so I could leave, but crowds of people were coming towards me and the fountains. It quickly got tight. Bodies were closing in around me. Eyes were everywhere. Surrounding me. Some with phones, lenses lifted, pointing towards the fountain show that began to dance to the loud festive music. Lights of red and green danced upon the Burj Kalifa. I held tightly to my bag and was eventually to the point where I could not even move. It was body to body. Eyes to the fountains.

Then the feeling of a hand, gripped directly onto my ass cheek (bum, buttocks, derriere, butt cheek, whatever you want to call it) and then a SQUEEZE. I whipped my head around. But for the first time, I saw no eyes. All eyes remained turned toward the fountains. I continued to shuffle towards the doors to the mall, not very efficiently. What would usually be a brisk 50 steps was seeming like a mile away with lead shoes on. And then another grab. Another squeeze. A whip of my head. All eyes on the fountains. And then another grab. And another squeeze. That was IT.

I was no longer willing to shuffle. I pushed. And now the eyes came from all around. I did not apologize. I forced my way out of the crowd. Once I made it to the mall doors I had the space to turn around and look back. The festive music. The crowd. The Burj. The fountains. Phones lifted. Lenses towards the fountains. Eyes towards the screens.

I got in a taxi. To another set of eyes…

Weeks later, I was out walking while holding a little extra sunshine in my pocket, and I decided to give a big smile and a wave to the piercing, staring eyes. What I got, to my grateful surprise, was the biggest smile and wave in return. And so I tried it again on another day. And again. Any time I had a man’s hard stare straight into my eyes, I’d smile. I’d wave. And the return became quite consistent. A big smile. An enthusiastic wave. And then they would just return to what they were doing before. As if there was no longer a woman in their view. I began to think that maybe these staring eyes have just never seen a woman walking alone before? Maybe it is such a novelty for them to see an independent woman and they do not even realize that their eyes are locked so aggressively still?

Over a year later, I was riding my bike through Business Bay along the water canal, and my eyes met another pair of eyes. This pair of eyes was seated, leaning against a wall, resting from his construction work. And every day I would ride by on my bicycle, my eyes would meet this same pair of eyes. Of course, one day, I decided to wave. The first time, he did a double take and then a quick lift and return of his hand. The next time I rode by the same set of eyes, resting against the same wall, I waved again. This time I got a confident lift of his hand and a big smile. I rode passed these eyes often, always waving, always smiling. And always receiving a wave and a smile in return.

One day on my regular bicycle ride, I glanced up as I neared the wall where the eyes regularly rested, and as expected, they met mine. The eyes brightened quickly with a smile and he sent the wave first! I was so surprised my cheeks rose a smile to my face and lifted my hand from my handlebars into an enthusiastic wave.

My smile remained for the rest of my ride.

Eyes bright. Looking ahead.

“But no matter how much evil I see, I think it is important for everyone to understand, there is much more light than darkness.”

Robert Uttaro